singing

Karaoke. Sitting around in the living room. Beer and friends.

There’s an amazing energy here. I can’t help but smile.

We may not be aware of it, but with all the songs sung together (some that we didn’t even realize we knew every word to) our souls are connected.

Listening to A and E singing a duet. They’ve been together over a year now. They’re both really good singers. It makes you see how much in love they are, watching them have fun with it. The happiness in their voices is unmistakable.

I love seeing couples looking lovingly into each other’s eyes when they’re not even aware of it. Not staring, not being all lovey dovey and sickening just happening to look at each other… you can almost see a cloud around them, binding them together despite its being insubstantial.

The cloud is gone in a second, but you know that the bond is there, you can feel it in the way they share the mic.

Envy. I don’t want to call it that. I am truly happy that they have each other. It’s a beautiful thing to have, that bond.

You know how something really good happens to you, you hope that everyone gets to feel that feeling?

I think that’s how it feels for them. Maybe they don’t even know it right now. They’re probably used to it already. But it’s that kind of feeling, it’s that good.

And I want to feel it.

Envy. That, but not that. Like I said, I don’t want to call it that.

Maybe I’m bitter. But I’m not. I’m happy for them… but.

Maybe it’s thinking again that it’ll make life better, easier to take, if I had someone to sing with.

I hate that it’s seems to be such a thing to me, that it affects me so much, albeit not too often.

It’s a nice thing, I think, to want to have someone you can sing with. But to want it so much that you can’t think straight, that can’t be right.

It should be on a list, but it shouldn’t be the priority.

I think I’m growing more and more bitter about the fact that I’m even thinking about this. This can’t be good.

I think I’m going to go sing.

“loud.”

She points at her headphones.

Then she disappears into them.